worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize