If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
