She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
