I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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