ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
