in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
