Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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