plz talk dirty to me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
