he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
