My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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