I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
