nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
