David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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