i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
