hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
