That's intense
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Farmville is her only friend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
