Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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