The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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