If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
