so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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