she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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