going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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