Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
