No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
