My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
