I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
