Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
