Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
