I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
