Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
