dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
