The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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