I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do herpes really smell.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
