yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
