i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
