my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
