so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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