Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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