I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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