it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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