What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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