You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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