U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
