When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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