Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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