5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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