he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Randomize
