Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
