The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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