The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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