He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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