I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
