In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
