things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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