that's an acceptable place to lick
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
