I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
