when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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