tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
