i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
