butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
vagina is talking i cant
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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