Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
